Frustrating

My Sunday school teacher is a stud. Do you know how distracting that is? Here I am trying to focus on the lesson and be spiritual, and looking at the teacher, I see a physique I admire and want to be like. Having noticed it before, I made it a point to get to know him a bit to see him as more than his build. He's a good teacher with a powerful testimony, and seems like an all around nice guy. I had succeeded in seeing him differently, but found it a little more distracting after he moved in a way that showed off his build. After that I was distracted for the whole lesson.

Stinks, huh? At least I am able to recognize it as something and someone I admire and even envy, rather than something sexual. Still, I can't spend too much time thinking about it. I know that if I dwell on it when I notice such things, it can in turn lead me to start looking at things sexually (or to look at sexual things). That's part of why I am blogging about it...to change my focus and break the train of thought.

Maybe I need to just start working out so that I am not so envious. Maybe I'll post on my other blog where I am much more public about my identity.